How To Connect With A Millennial

1.Develop Trust by Building a Relationship

As maybe you’ve heard it said, “Trust is earned in drops and lost in buckets.”  Millennials are absolutely messed up for several reasons. The iPhone and breakdown of the family are major contributors but there are many more. We didn’t just randomly end up the way we are, or have the struggles that we do, there were and are many things that contribute to this outcome. It is no secret, we have A LOT to work on. But if you want to help us start getting busy, build a relationship with us. That just strait up takes time and effort and maybe that’s a lot of the reason why we are the way we are. No one cared enough to do that with us. Helpful hint, building a relationship with someone most often happens through a lot of listening and thought-provoking questions. Some older people in my life think that us spending “quality time” together is them sitting down with us and departing their ancient wisdom like we wanted to hear it. Most of the time I’m thinking, “dude, I can just find a book that tells me everything I need to know about what you have to say!” Trust is built in drips remember? So that means its going to take time. You can’t put a time limit on someone’s trust level. You must be patient and show consistency.

If you want to develop influence in the life of a millennial, you got to take the time to build that trust. As one author I enjoy once said, “The currency of influence is trust.” When you do that, you’ll be shocked to find its actually not that hard to lead millennials or for that matter challenge us. Once you’ve invested by listening, we become a whole lot more excited or interested in what you have to say.

2.Back Up What You Say with How You Live

Millennials have seen so many commercials bro! Like thousands upon thousands starting from an extremely young age. We know when someone is trying to sell something to us. I wouldn’t spend much time listening to an athletic trainer who is 100 lbs. overweight tell me that I need to start working out. Why? Because the dude doesn’t practice what he preaches! The power of influence and persuasion occurs when a life is echoed by someone’s actions. Please don’t tell me about the “good old days.” They are over and done. Rarely will you be able to motivate me to climb a mountain standing at the bottom and yelling up. Get in the game. Show me with your actions don’t manipulate me with your sweet-talking lies.

I know this mom whose daughter was just put on a special diet due to medical reasons for the rest of her life. Everything about what she now has to eat has to be altered and changed. Her life will never be the same and that is a hard pill to swallow. But her mom though, made the decision that even though she doesn’t have the same health problem will participate in her daughters’ special diet. Why? To communicate with her that we are in this together! That is selfless. That is leadership and that is a mom who has put action to her talk.

I personally believe that millennials desire to have older mentors in their lives they can be proud of. Someone who cares about them and has put the time and effort into proving it. I believe millennials want to be led and guided in their careers and lives. Is the cost of influencing them worth the price you would have to pay? You tell me! No, better yet…SHOW ME.

3.Say It Too Us Not About Us

Steps one and two are crucial to the effectiveness of number three. There has got to be a relationship. There has got to be example. When those things are practiced please do us all a favor and give us genuine, heartfelt and gracious criticism because we are dying for someone to care enough to speak up in our lives. Most millennials would never say they have all the answers in life. I know I wouldn’t. I just crave so deeply for guidance, wisdom, and even someone to say the hard things. To tell me that I behaved wrongly in that situation, or at least that you think I did.

I have tons of stories of individuals who would rip someone’s actions and intentions to shreds when they weren’t there and completely changed the tone and heartbeat once they were. I can tell you that that news to me would a be a bucket of trust completely kicked over. I wouldn’t care much about what you’d have to say after that. But yo, if I could trust your heartbeat and character. If I believed that you came to me first and never said another word to anyone else that wasn’t helpful or kind…man, that would mean the world and I’d eat up every word you had to say. That kind of friendship and bond is what I believe a lot of millennials crave and long for. Try me!

Wrap It Up

Being real right now there are a couple things I’ve learned from writing this.

1.I got some work to do to practice these things myself.

2.Maybe this just isn’t how we can connect with millennials…maybe its how we truly connect with people and get the intimate and deep relationships we all crave to have.

Here is what I commit to doing. I am going to intentionally practice these principles for the next two weeks and report back to what I noticed and learned…join me